is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
