yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
