I'm lost and stupid without you.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Someone shit on the floor
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
