Quick, to the slutcave!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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