It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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