Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
