i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
