I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
