I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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