haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
