You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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