I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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