im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
