i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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