I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
