And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
