i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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