Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
