I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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