Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
