Duck Duck Cougar?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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