whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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