a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
