Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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