is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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