Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
