i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
