waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
