Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
