Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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