Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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