So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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