I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
