just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
