Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
