forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I need to calm my uterus...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize