bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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