What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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