You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
At least make sure they are 18
Why
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
