Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
