I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
