Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
