Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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