Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
