Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
