Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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