Can i not drive my cunt home
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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