In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize