Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
