i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
