That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
