Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
