That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
