It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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