i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Found your dick twin last night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
