Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
