I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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