Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
