Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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