i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I could fuck to npr.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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