I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
