I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
