it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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