"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
