He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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