My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
