You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
